Wall Street's Massive Bonuses: Giving The Devil His Due

"Welcome to Wall Street's Annual Predator's Ball," said the tall striking looking man at the podium, with the thick black hair and muscular body as his penetrating dark eyes made contact with everyone in the room.

His deep majestic voice echoed across the crystal chandeliered, marble floored, oak paneled ballroom bigger than two football fields, in one of New York's finest hotels. Every seat was filled by invitation only to Wall Street's elite.

"First, congratulations to each of you for doing such a great job," he stated. "You brought the global economy to the brink of collapse, and while doing that you paid yourselves record bonuses, as you ignored the public outcry.

"Second, you unloaded the colossal mess you created entirely on the taxpayers. In many cases, these are the same people who lost their savings and their retirement accounts and some even lost their jobs and their homes because of you.

"Third," he added as a sense of amazement filled his voice, "Not one person in this vast room was ever held accountable for anything!" Before he could utter another word, the audience burst into cheers.

"Fourth," he said after the cheering died down two minutes later, "You avoided any new financial regulation or oversight. You're still doing all of the same terrible things you did before and no-one is stopping you."

Before he could say anything more, the audience responded with a thunderous ovation and then moved by the moment everyone sang, "God Bless America."

As they sang, he just stood silent, absorbing the arrogance permeating the room. Then as he looked at the sea of faces, he asked, "Is there anyone here who doesn't live in a mansion or a lavish high rise co-op?" The room was silent.

"Is there anyone here who doesn't have a limousine, a private jet, a yacht and more jewelry than you can measure?" Silence once more filled the room.

"I thought so," he said. "Yet most of you are grabbing money to add to the huge sums you already have, which is more than you could spend in 10 lifetimes. Others of you don't have as much money but you want to be like those who do.

"How many of you plan to pay much income tax to the system that bailed you out?" There was silence once again.

Then staring at the audience he inhaled deeply and exhaled into the microphone, as his eyes narrowed and a look of disgust filled his face.

"I should introduce myself," he said. As he spoke those words, he grew in size, taller than any basketball player, while his skin took on a reddish tint.

"I am the Devil," his voice boomed out. "Enjoy your ill-gotten gains. But know that when your lives end, you're mine, for in my world there is accountability.

"And remember, life is short and that everything you've greedily grabbed gets left behind. It will be worthless to you."

The mood in the room abruptly changed from one of laughter and joy to fear, as women screamed and men panicked, some of them racing to the exits, pushing and shoving one another, as their security personnel met them at the doors while calling for their limousines.

But most people stayed in their seats. "How do we save ourselves?" one shouted.

"If you are sincere," replied Satan, "As you leave here, notice the desk clerks, the doormen, the chefs, the food servers and the janitors. For many of you, it will be the first time you've seen them, for you never cared about them and their families.

"And afterward, notice those who repair your streets, teach your children, fight your fires, police your neighborhoods and nurse your sick. See the small businesspeople who risk everything they own in pursuit of the American dream and they employ millions of others in the process.

"Your selfish actions have jeopardized the financial security of all these people.

"But don't stop there. Think about all the soldiers you sent off to war and the pain their families endure when they are killed or maimed or away from them for months at a time. Many of you have profited from their misery, never caring for their welfare.

"Some of you mocked the vast number of families with no health insurance. Their children die each day from lack of care but for the government to offer it to them you called, 'Socialism.' But what was it when the government bailed all of you out?"

Just then, a 50 year old man stood up. "What a fool I've been, he said sadly. The price I've paid to accumulate all these riches has often separated me from those I love, as I worked long, stressful hours and had to travel frequently.

"Yet none of the things I have has ever given me as much joy as my family or when I've done something to help someone else. I've missed many of the most important things in life, my son's soccer games and my daughter's recitals, their graduations and the list goes on.

"Now they're grown and gone and neither of them is close to me. I'm a stranger to my wife and I have no idea whatever became of my close friends.

"My doctor tells me I have high blood pressure and clogged arteries and I could drop dead tomorrow. If I did, who would care? A week later even my job would be filled.

"People hate me because of my greed and the harm I've caused them. Yet there are many who wish they could have what I have, not knowing how empty my life really is. I don't even know who my friends are, for I just have hangers-on, smiling people who pretend to care about me but really just want to take from me.

"I am rich in assets and poor in spirit. I thought money would bring me happiness and power and make me feel important. But only briefly did it bring any of those things and I never really had control over other people and events, it was just an illusion. Self-control is the only control any of us have.

"My real worth was always within and the only thing we can ever take with us is the love of others. My life is brief and it is precious. I am valuable for the quality of who I am and for the kindness I can offer others to make their lives better.

"Tonight, I finally get it! From now on, I'm going to enjoy each day I have, knowing it could be my last.

"My crazy work hours are over and I'm going to slash my personal overhead, sell off what I don't need and share some of the proceeds with others whose need is great. People who work for me will receive raises and I will take a sincere interest in their well-being.

"And I'm going to reintroduce myself to my loved ones and do everything I can to make up for what was lost, as I hope to become an important part of their lives. I'll start with my wife, who I've virtually abandoned emotionally and physically all these years. Thank you!"

"It's odd," said a member of Satan's staff, "That you could have such a positive affect on that man. "Not really," replied the Devil with a big smile and a warm sparkle in his eyes. "Sometimes it is a very thin line between Heaven and Hell."

Dick [last updated, 1/28/10]